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Chuckwalla Wire

By Garlington, Philip

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Book Id: WPLBN0004450850
Format Type: PDF eBook:
File Size: 1.35 MB
Reproduction Date: 5/27/2016

Title: Chuckwalla Wire  
Author: Garlington, Philip
Language: English
Subject: Fiction, Humor and Satire
Collections: Humor and Satire, Authors Community, Most Popular Books in China
Publication Date:
Publisher: Sayeth the Preacher Press
Member Page: Phil Garlington


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Garlington, B. P. (2016). Chuckwalla Wire. Retrieved from

Editor’s note: Dexter Dietz, the Chuckwalla Reveille's owner and publisher, remains under federal witness protection while awaiting the unlikely but hoped for trial in the Hague of Sudanese president Omar al-Bashir. I first met Dietz in San Francisco’s Haight, after knocking on an apartment door with the inscription “Only the illusion doesn’t deceive." He later became involved in shadowy transactions involving weapons transfers in Southern Sudan. Returning to the States, he sought a quiet enterprise that would print easy money. The Chuckwalla Reveille, the weekly in a tiny desert town, had a small but steady trade with several real estate brokers and a car dealership. Dietz had no interest in reporting or editing but these matters are easily hired out. He led a retired life until FBI agents took him into protective custody. I was sitting at the bar at the Merchants’ and Millionaires’ when Dexter rang. Could I come to Imperial County to guard his interests? I was at liberty, having just been fired for insubordination from a metro daily. I agreed to take the reins in Chuckwalla until the al-Bashir indictment is resolved.

Chuckwalla Wire, the online edition of the Chuckwalla Reveille, voice of the Tri-Deseert Empire, gateway to the Sonora, Mojave, and Colorado deserts, serving Chuckwalla, Jericho, Blythe, Sometimes Springs, and all of Eastern Imperial County. Home of the Yellow Jackets. Go Jackets. Headquarters of the Fifth Marines Desert Warfare Center. Sunshine 300 days per year.

Leaders in Motion A regular Reveille feature profiling vanguard personalities in the Tri-Desert area. This week we catch up with 17-year-old Boy Scout first class Henry Pipps, the highest ranking scout in Troop 354 and a senior at Chuckwalla High. Reveille: You were shot recently. Pipps: “Not the first time. What happened, I was working on a community service project by helping Bert (Bertinelli) at the Chamber of Commerce with a promotion for the Convergence Center. I had to dress up like a Martian and walk into town to meet up with Mayor Crane. Bert wanted the whole troop but he only had one costume. Anyhow, I’m coming up out of the culvert over near Via Bienvenidos and I’m testing out this electronic horn that Bert gave me when ka-boom, two dove hunters open up on me.” Reveille: Bird shot? Pipps. “I got peppered in the back. Nothing serious. Last year I was shot through the hand with a .22 during the Scout Expo in Big Moccasin. See.” Reveille: I’ve heard you scouts have an interest in firearms. Pipps: “We have our own range on Scorpion Peak. We’re interested in the original scouting idea of General Baden Powell. He saw ‘scouts’ as being the reconnaissance for light infantry. We’re not so much about getting merit badges or doing good deeds as we are about field craft. Tracking. Bush survival. Escape and evasion. We shoot a lot.” Reveille: What does the scout master say about this philosophy? Pipps: “I don’t know. Reveille: Who is the scout master? Pipps: “I’m not sure. Might be Mr. Higgins.” Reveille: What happened last month? Pipps. “The Jamboree doesn’t have a range. We just stepped off Saturday night for Scorpion Peak to get in some practice. We weren’t lost; we have our own cabin up there; we were just doing some shooting and hanging out. We’ve been to Scorpion Peak a million times. But some parents got worried.” Reveille: You guys have .22s. Pipps: “Actually, most of us have .223 semi autos. Rugers. Also a Garand. A couple of 30-30 carbines. Remington seven mil. Some antique junk. Enfields, Mosh-Nagant.” Reveille: Aren’t you too old to be a Boy Scout? Pipps: “Officially it goes Cub Scout, Boy Scout, Explorer. But in Chuckwalla there’s just Troop 354. Kind of like a one room school.” Reveille: So what are your plans after graduation? Pipps: “That’s a darn good question. I’ll have to get back to you on that one.”


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